Winter is a fierce little fugger and anyone who lives several months in the cold every single year knows this. As you walk to your car to get to work (a car which may or may not start today, since it is never as reliable in the winter), the wind biting your exposed cheeks and your shoes slipping precariously on the ice, there is no thought more appealing than the warm sun, waves crashing, and the salty smell of the ocean wafting all around you. Sounds nice, right? Yes, yes it does.
So for MLKJ weekend, I asked my sister Meredith and my chihuahua Stella, my trusty road trip partners, if they’d be up for a drive down to the beach for a winter getaway (Meredith was enthused, Stella stared at me unblinkingly for 20 minutes until I gave her a carrot). We left early on Friday morning and I plugged my laptop into my hotspot so I could get some work done on the ride (one of these days I’ll write about how much I freeeaking love T-Mobile and how much I pat myself on the back every day for switching to it), and everything was going smoothly for a while. The entire trip from northern Maryland down to northern South Carolina, an 8 hour voyage, took 12 hours, however, because I ended up buying the wrong adapter for my computer charger, blew my cigarette lighter fuse, and had to stop to finish up some stuff at a library in a random town in North Carolina (as I sat there, some guy who was all bundled up walked over to me and said, “How can you be wearing that in January??” referring to my shorts, to which I replied by smiling awkwardly and shrugging because NORTH CAROLINA IS 70 DEGREES IN JANUARY, YOU FREAK). By the time we arrived, it was pitch black, we were exhausted, we had somehow lost part of the grill on my car’s front bumper (which is somewhat disturbing), and we were more than ready for a stiff one. But we were at the beach, it was warm, and more than anything, we were excited.
So first and foremost, where should you stay when you come to Myrtle Beach for your winter weekend getaway?
Vancouver Motel
We ended up getting a really fantastic deal, $40 per night, at a little motel right off Ocean Boulevard mere steps from the beach. I KNOW! $40 a night and right on the beach?? Don’t mind if I do! Of course, I am often wary when it comes to cheap motels, but this place had a ton of great reviews, so I sprung for it. And we ended up loving it.
It was incredibly clean, had all the amenities you’d hope for in a motel (which I guess would be a TV and plenty of towels and toilet paper, right? What else could you want?), plus it had a little kitchenette, which came in handy the night that we bought a tube of cinnamon rolls and devoured the entire thing for some unknowable reason. Also, the motel was pet friendly, complete with a little doggy poop area, and there were literally chihuahuas in every other room! It was exciting for me, but Stella didn’t seem to care one way or another. Another advantage of the south is the plethora of chihuahuas. The south is chihuahua heaven.
My only gripe was that we were a couple of miles away from the boardwalk, but considering the fact that the town isn’t crowded this time of year, Ubers were cheap!
The Beach
Even if you don’t end up staying at Vancouver, there are plenty of places to stay right on the beach for cheap. The water at this time of year is chilly, but less chilly than you’d think. I actually saw some people jumping into the water in their bikinis, which I found to be a little bit over the top, but I can’t say I don’t admire them. January is perfect for walking along the beach, sitting for a while and watching the waves and the seagulls. It is beautiful, and the best part is that there are very few people, so you practically have the whole thing to yourself. AND dogs are allowed on the beach and the boardwalk at all times during the off-season.
Stella was, shockingly, a beach rat, prancing through the sand, basking in the sun, quietly wandering off to explore the sand dunes and giving me a heart attack as I raced around looking for her (don’t tell the Myrtle Beach police that I dropped her leash for half a second to take a photo. The girl normally doesn’t leave her mama’s side). Like I said, there were tons of dogs staying at our motel, and fur friends are welcome everywhere.
The Boardwalk
Fun fact: Myrtle Beach’s boardwalk was ranked the second best boardwalk in the United States by Travel and Leisure. In the entire United States! It stretches 1.2 miles parallel to Ocean Boulevard and the ocean, and it probably the cleanest, most colorful boardwalk I have ever seen. It is relatively new compared to some other boardwalks, but it is seriously well-maintained. It is just a good quality boardwalk.
Here is where you can get your classic beach-side funnel cake and ice cream cone, ride the SkyWheel, and visit Myrtle Beach’s iconic Gay Dolphin Gift Shop (a landmark since 1946, according to their website). I usually steer away from boardwalk gift shops as they are all carbon copies of one another (unless I am in desperate need of some sunscreen), but this one, with more than 70,000 items in 30,000 square feet of space, offers some unique gifts, including shark teeth, alligator heads, and other funky knick-knacks.
Iggy’s
While you’re on the boardwalk, grab a bite at Iggy’s, which sells nachos, hotdogs, Italian ice, and over 100 different flavors of soft serve, which I frankly did not even realize was possible. The man who owned it was incredibly nice, staying patient with us as we went back and forth on what we wanted for our early afternoon snack, and took a liking to Stella, going so far as to bring a cup of water and a treat out to her while we ate. This place is right in the middle of the boardwalk, and on a sunny day is the perfect place to sit and look out over the ocean while enjoying a cold treat.
Angus Steak and Seafood
You can’t go to the beach without feasting on seafood. Over the past year I have been forcing myself to eat seafood, and though at first the slimy texture, the salty smell, and the bulging eyeballs were enough to make me want to gag, I have come to appreciate the acquired taste. Angus Steak and Seafood is unique to Myrtle Beach, the inside somewhat kitschy, with animal heads on the walls and all the staff wearing cowboy hats and boots. However, I was incredibly impressed with the service and the diligent attentiveness, but that may have something to do with the fact that we arrived for a 5 o’clock dinner and the only people there were a handful of retirees. Yeah I like to eat early, and my friends and family make sure I never hear the end of it.
We got a half-priced calamari appetizer (one perk of coming early for happy hour, so all you haters can back right off), a fantasticly flavorful bowl of clam chowder, a bowl of rich and creamy shrimp fettuccine Alfredo, and 12 snow crab legs (it turns out snow crab is obviously not native to South Carolina, so our attempts to soak in the southern culture were sort of thwarted there). Delicious meal, though, and afterwards we would recommend the chocolate cake with raspberry dressing because it is orgasmic.
Big Mike’s
DOWN-HOME SOUL FOOD. Big Mike’s is where you get a real taste of Southern culture. The family-owned restaurant is small and simple from the outside, but when we walked in, we were welcomed with open arms, taken care of promptly, and waited only for a short time for our (really, really good) food to arrive.
If you get the blue plate special, you can get your choice of meat with three sides and cornbread for around $10. I would highly recommend the home-made macaroni and cheese, which was the perfect amount of cheesy, and hush puppies of course, a snack that quickly became one of our very favorites during our time in the south. Real southern food is a necessity during any visit to this part of the country, and Big Mike’s is considered one of the top 20 soul food restaurants in the United States.
Cookout
For anyone who has spent a lot of time in the South, Cookout probably isn’t that exciting for you. We made it into a game as we drove through the Carolinas to yell out every time we saw a Cookout, and we probably didn’t go 10 miles without screeching at each other upon noticing yet another Cookout billboard. They are ubiquitous, like Starbucks in Seattle. And I totally get why they are so popular.
The food is very tasty; my Cheddar-style burger, with cheddar cheese, bacon, and grilled onions, was way above average for a fast food restaurant, and Meredith’s pulled pork BBQ plate was seasoned and juicy. And the best part? The BBQ plate came with pulled pork, fries, coleslaw, and hush puppies, all for $4.99! For someone hailing from DC, where you can maybe get a small portion of fries for $5, that is RIDICULOUS. They also have over 40 milkshake flavors, which gives you a reason to stop here many times if you’re driving into Myrtle Beach for the weekend.
Atlas
Nightlife is a huge thing in Myrtle Beach, and though it is obviously more crazy in the on-season, that doesn’t mean there’s nothing going on in the winter months. There are tons of clubs all up and down the city, but we found our happy place at Atlas, a smaller pub a couple blocks off the boardwalk with a relaxed atmosphere and a great draft and bottle selection, including craft beer and some local beers like Dirty Myrtle.
The best part really though was the fact that everyone was CRAZY friendly. It almost disturbed me just how friendly.
I will say there was one exception: the guy at the grocery store when we first arrived, who was convinced I was showing him a fake ID and kept saying things to make me nervous and catch me in the act, including “yeah, you don’t look a day over 18, sweetheart” while giving me a stern look. I could go on and on about how many assholes have given me a hard time about how I don’t look old enough to buy an alcoholic beverage, but then I’d never finish this post.
I think the fact that the south is so friendly produces an especially effectual response from me because, as much as I love DC and enjoy living here, in general people are not at all friendly. Everyone minds their own business and people being genuinely excited to see you as you enter their place of business is a rarity. The southeastern United States is a place unlike any other I’ve been (when we first drove into the city, Meredith looked out the window and said, “Oh, wow, they have Chili’s here,” as if there isn’t a Chili’s every square mile of the United States and as if we had forgotten that we were, in fact, still in the same country). No matter where you are, at a restaurant, a bar, the boardwalk, the hotel check-in counter, people are nice to you. And it is a breath of fresh air.
You’re not going to go to Myrtle Beach for the sightseeing. They have a decent Hollywood wax museum, lots of dramatically themed golf courses, and plenty of outlets for shopping, but mostly, the opportunity to relax and blow off steam. It is just the perfect place to kick back, dig your toes into the sand, throw back a few beers, and escape from the real world of 30 degree temperatures and -10 degree windchill, all while avoiding hordes and hordes of people. You’ll find yourself coming to Myrtle Beach for the nice weather and the beach, and staying for the tasty food, culture, and southern hospitality.
