It’s funny, because all year I have been whining about how 2016 has not been a year for the books. First my boyfriend and I broke up for good, then my body was plagued by injury after unhealable injury and joint degeneration, then I had to learn to personally manage the sexism that is still running rampant through corporate America and the workplace every day. Then, of course, the election.
I have not delved much into the events that unfolded the night of November 8th in my home country, the United States of America, but you can trust me when I say that I have an opinion or two about the matter. Just look at my Twitter page. Everyone can agree that there was a lot on the line with this election. Our basic constitutional rights. The freedom to practice any sort of religion you want, without having anyone else’s religion affect the way you live your life. The ability to have a say over your body and not allow the government to treat you, as a woman, as a human incubator. There are many unanswered questions. What does this mean for the economy? Will more jobs be created? How will our foreign affairs be handled, and how will this affect our relationships with other countries in the decades to come, and our ability to travel? What kinds of strides will be made towards defeating global warming, or will these efforts cease to be (good lord I hope not)? It is a nerve-wracking time for America and for the world.
I learned long ago that stress is bad. It is very bad. It can worm its way into every crevice of your life and have really destructive effects both emotionally and physically, and so managing it is important. Stress relief activities are even more essential. And what better way to relieve your stress than by jumping out of a teeny, tiny airplane and recklessly hurtling towards the Earth?
Skydive Philadelphia
My friend and old roommate Alyssa originally wanted us to go skydiving for her birthday in October, but due to Hurricane Matthew, we were forced to reschedule. Skydive Philadelphia is located in Perkasie, Pennsylvania, about an hour north of Philadelphia, and the storm didn’t end up reaching the mid-Atlantic that day. But skydiving is no flippin’ joke, and I am glad we did not risk it. Most of the negative reviews that I read about Skydive Philadelphia were from people saying that the company kept canceling the jumps due to weather conditions, and to that I say shut the fuxk up. Seriously. Kudos, Skydive Philadelphia, for always putting the safety of your customers above their impatient insistence that they need to jump TODAY.
We ended up getting our jump through Groupon for $111 (never have I used Groupon before, but damn there is a lot of cool stuff on there). After my jump, my cousin commented on Facebook to never use discount skydiving companies because of the potential deathly ramifications of using an unqualified skydiving company, which thank god I did not think about beforehand because it would have freaked me out to no end. As it went, I didn’t really think about the jump at all until the door of the plane opened, and the discounted skydive ended up being absolutely fantastic in every way.
First of all, the instructors are incredibly experienced. My instructor, Chris, has been skydiving for 15 years or so. It is a sport for them. It is their livelihood, and they take it very seriously. We had to sign many waivers when we checked in (I certify that I will not sue if I die), as well as watch a video basically disclaiming that we are risking severe injury and death, but have fun, kiddos! The instructors jump so many times EACH DAY that it is almost second nature to them (literally, every 30 minutes or so, they go up in the plane, jump with their student, come back, pack the parachute with incredible care and precision, and then go back up again. Every. Single. Day.). You don’t have to worry about these guys (and ladies) not knowing what they are doing or not being concerned about your safety (even if the skydiving WAS discounted). And it is, somehow, comforting to know that the likelihood of getting hurt on the drive to the airport is far higher than the likelihood of getting hurt skydiving.
It does take some time before they are ready for you to actually climb into the plane. We waited probably about 2 hours before they were finally ready to take us, and this was in the middle of November. I am sure the wait would have been much longer had it been in peak skydiving season (not sure if that’s a thing, but I am assuming it is when the weather is a little balmier). I believe this would probably be the case with any sort of skydiving company, so no big deal. And they are organized about it; your name will be on a screen on a wall with an approximation of how much time until your group goes up, so you can get a pretty good idea of how many people are in front of you that way.
I purchased a $79 video package, which includes an on-person POV video (i.e. your instructor straps a GoPro to his or her hand) with footage from before you even get on the plane to after you land, plus fully edited and put to music. Alyssa bought the $79 still photo package, and there were also more expensive options for another jumper to film you separately. A positive aspect of the hours of waiting is that you have pleeenty of time to mull over what kind of package you want before making the purchase. Also, some more praise for this place: Chris said that the video will usually get to you within 7 to 10 days, but I had it in my Dropbox by that Monday morning after the Saturday afternoon jump. I don’t care what any Yelp reviewers say, that is good service. Thanks, Chris.
Chris is from Australia and very, very cool. He made me feel incredibly comfortable from the get-go, basically saying “skydiving is super easy. You go to the door, squat, cross your arms over your chest, jump, and when I tap you, you open your arms and arch your back like a banana” (seems easy enough, but when we jumped, I flailed in the air and forgot everything he told me and what I was doing and who I was; if he found this annoyingly dramatic, he didn’t say so). The fact that he had probably jumped 12 times already that day and was acting so nonchalant about it put me at ease a bit.
Side-note: has anyone seen that old episode of Drake and Josh where they go skydiving and before they go up in the plane, the instructor explains the jumping process as Squat. Pray. Leap. Aahhh! Touchdown. And Drake points out perturbedly that this spells SPLAT? Lololol (probably only my sister is also chuckling about this. Watch that episode).
I didn’t really grasp the magnitude of the situation until we were at almost 15,000 feet and the door opened and Alyssa jumped out of the plane and her screams were ripped from the doorway almost as fast as her body. That’s when I realized that the loud, cold, gusty sky had taken my friend and was coming for me next. I almost cried.
The free fall was insane. Going 120 miles an hour falling through the air is something else. Never has my body moved that fast in my entire life, outside of a massive moving vehicle, that is. It was almost hard to catch my breath. And jumping from the plane and falling through the air happens so fast, you barely even have a chance to wrap your mind around what is happening. Also, apparently tearing through the air at that speed pulls my chubby face back in such a way that I look uncannily like Jack Nicholson, which is particularly disconcerting considering how I am a 24-year-old female, and also how Jack from The Shining used to freak me the fuxk out.
The best part was absolutely drifting with the parachute. Chris let me pull down on each side of the parachute-steering-thingys and swirl us around through the air, and the feeling was unreal. This is where you truly get to appreciate what is happening, and where you actually, surprisingly, feel very at peace. You could see the endless sprawling green and orange and red of rural Pennsylvania, plus the New York City and Philadelphia skylines on either side. It makes you realize that you are very small, but that the world is also pretty small, considering. There’s a whole state in between Philly and NYC, yet from way up there, above the Earth, you could see both at once. Insane.
The worst part is when we were drifting with the parachute and Chris had to loosen my harness and unclasped one of the clasps and I fell from his body a little bit. I screamed and screamed and he, half amused half alarmed, told me to stop it and chill out. You kind of realize how fragile your tiny, measly life is at that moment. Overall, the most amazing experience of my whole tiny, measly life thus far. Cliff jumping next? Bungee jumping? Let’s grab life by the cojones.
Make Lemonade
The greatest thing about leaping out of a plane is that from the time that I got strapped into my harness, I did not think about any of the bad. You think I was thinking about who the new president is or how my ankle was hurting me earlier in the morning as I was pushed up to the open door of the plane and felt the icy cold wind whipping at my face? Hell to the goddamn no, I was not!! Are you kidding? All I was thinking about was what the fuck am I thinking, jumping out of a plane?? This is supposed to be fun and adventurous and impressive? It is certifiably insane! (These thoughts lasted for about 5 milliseconds because that’s all I had before Chris thrust us both out into the air). And all I thought about as we fell towards Earth was wow. Life is really, really something. Therapeutic. (I didn’t even think about my atrophied joints until I hit the ground and the pain shot up my ankle, but even that I barely noticed or cared about at the time).
This was something that I really needed. It was a reminder that life has so much to offer that is good, and the bad is just something that has to be there, or else we would never grow and life would be far too easy (and where’s the fun in that?). I truly believe there is more good than bad in the world, even if it doesn’t always seem like it. Not that everyone needs to leap out of a plane like a maniac to realize this, but it was helpful for me. Just a little reminder to smile, remember you’re alive, and to not let the bad get you down. Stop whining so much (advice I really need to take to heart, just ask my mom). Life is short. Never stop fighting for what you believe in, never stop respecting others (and yourself), and never stop cherishing and loving every day of your life (and book a jump with Skydive Philadelphia, because they will take care of you and help you experience something incredible).
